This feels like a slightly silly, or maybe even embarrassing, thing to post on the Internet, but I think it’s important to talk about. No where in my online presence have I ever chose to talk about this seemingly never-ending journey of trying to “fix” my skin.
Third grade was when I first noticed little bumps on my face. Not thinking anything of it, I continued on with my routine of being a kid and simply waking up, going to school, coming home, and going to sleep. None of the other kids ever said anything about the way my face looked, so I was sure it was normal to have these little bumps.
Then, comes fourth grade. I’m not sure when my acne got bad. It’s almost as if I woke up one day and all of the sudden, my tiny bumps turned into a full-on problem. I can still vividly remember the first time someone pointed out my acne. I was sitting on my desk in Ms. Hall’s fourth grade classroom, waiting on my bus number to be called. There was a boy named KJ in my class that I was hanging out with while killing time. Earlier in the morning, before school, I noticed a rather large bump on the side of my nose, in the crease where my nose meets my face. I brought my biggest water bottle to school so I could drink out of it whenever I wanted to hide that portion of my face. Well, during this after school conversation, KJ so kindly pointed out my blemish and asked what it was. To which, I pretended to have no idea what he was talking about. I went home that day and tried to pop everything on my face, something I had previously not done, because I was hoping that would make it all go away.
It didn’t.
During middle school, my acne was one of my biggest insecurities. I would wear a full face of makeup every day in an attempt to hide it. If I was having a bad breakout, I would fake sick to stay home from school. At this time, I was using Proactive, taking Doxycycline, and doing all of the other things my dermatologist recommended. Nothing helped.
In ninth grade, my dermatologist recommended I went on Accutane. I had heard about celebrities taking this, and it helped their skin, so I was more than okay with it. I started Accutane in December of 2011. It was a six month dose and was supposed to make my dreams of having clear skin come true (at a very high cost)! However, it didn’t. The lasting contribution of Accutane, to this day, are the scars that sit on my cheeks from the awful cysts that developed when my skin was “purging” itself (Are you grossed out yet?).
High school came and went, with no real progress made in the form of clarity for my face. Then, college happened. I discovered the side of Youtube that had dermatologists from all over the world educating people on what was best for their skin. Cue 2018. I finally got serious about taking care of my skin. My goal was no longer to have the perfect skin, but to correct my skin to the best of my abilities and do everything I could to be a hot mama one day. There’s another term I could use for this, but, as I’ve mentioned, this blog is for school. So, I won’t go there.
Today, my skin is the best it’s ever been. Of course, I still have some acne. Blackheads are the bane of my existence. However, it’s nothing like it used to be. I’ll probably always have some trace of my skin’s history. It’s a big portion of what made me who I am today. I wouldn’t say I’m thankful for the experience, but, for the time being, I’ve made it!
Below are some before/afters of my skin. During the height of my acne flare-ups, I rarely took pictures. Therefore, the ones I have that show my skin are questionable, to say the least.
Casually Carolyn 