“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
William shakespeare
When I first began using social media in the early 2010’s, I had no idea what an “influencer” was. I followed Instagram accounts for people I knew, celebrity fan pages (Orlando Bloom was my jam at this point), and Tumblr-esq aesthetic accounts. It wasn’t until I graduated high school in 2015 that I began to follow accounts for so-called influencers. The first influencer account I followed was Eva Gutowski, formerly known as MyLifeAsEva.
As an impressionable teen-something, I didn’t understand what influencers were when I first stumbled upon them. In my mind, Eva Gutowski was perfect. She radiated the energy I wished I had, was constantly surrounded by friends, seemed happy all of the time, was successful, and, of course, was drop-dead gorgeous. I strived to be all of these things. I would constantly criticize the way I looked, what I ate, my hobbies, and what I owned. Generally, this would lead me to believing I wasn’t enough, nor would I ever be. For a while, I even considered getting a perm because I loved her naturally curly hair and was envious. What I didn’t know was that her life was carefully curated. To the untrained eye, she was all of the things described before. But, deep down, it was all a front. Today, Gutowski has come forward and condemned the toxic nature of influence culture.
After Eva Gutowski, there was Sierra Furtado. It was late 2016 when I first discovered her YouTube channel, which pointed me in the direction of her Instagram. At this time, Sierra seemed to be at her peak in life. She was in a happy relationship, had the perfect body, the perfect home, the perfect dog, and the perfect wardrobe (are we sensing a trend here?).
I spent hours upon hours scrutinizing every teeny tiny detail of her hair, her skin, and her clothing. As someone who grew up with an awkward body shape, dull hair, bad skin, and an extremely questionable sense of style, I longed to look like an Instagram influencer. In 2016, I spent countless dollars on new clothes, getting my hair done, and makeup. It wasn’t until 2019, when Sierra and her fiancé split, that I realized the entire life she projected on the Internet was a front.
This brings me to my main point: Social Media is simply a highlight reel. Influencers are people in real life, but online they are a brand. They maintain a strict social image because it is literally their job. While it’s okay to have role models, Influencers and their impact on people becomes a problem when they are idolized.
Every person deserves to know they are valuable regardless of how they look or the number of likes they receive on an Instagram post. It took me years to realize that I was worth acceptance, and self-love, regardless of how I was seen on the Internet. Influencers can bring a lot of good into the world. They can motivate you, help you get out of a rut, be an online “friend,” but they should never be the statue you mold yourself to resemble. Everyone is unique for a reason, and it should be celebrated.
Casually Carolyn 